is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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