Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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