And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
