he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
