Non-Jews are for practice
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You did what with his pubic hair?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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