I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can you bring me the toilet please
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
