So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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