Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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