just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
