sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's not a walk of shame if you run
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
