The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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