You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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