She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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