I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
