Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
