I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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