Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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