Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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