And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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