i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
