Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
