We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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