chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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