It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
