So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
