I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize