i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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