Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize