Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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