its not stalking. its research.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
