dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
