Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
