Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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