I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize