you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
