but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize