So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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