i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
