just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
