i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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