i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
and you fell through a lawn chair
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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