I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
