Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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