You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
