i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i need some magic done to my vagina
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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