apparently the secret to your success is patron
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
