i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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