Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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