therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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