I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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