Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
