Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
