If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
