What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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