i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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