so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
