He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize