yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
