definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You're breaking my sexual little heart
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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