What a fucking waste of an outfit
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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