I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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