she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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