ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Are my feet made of real feet?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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