I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
