I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
