I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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