Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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