Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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