This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
