Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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