I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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