we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
