no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I need moral support for this bender
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
