I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
