Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
